As much as I try I always find myself striving for perfect. Now striving to do well and to be the best version of you is a great thing. But I do wonder if my perception of perfect is realistic. To be honest what I am striving for is what I see on social media. I see pictures of beautiful families with their beautiful kids all matchy matchy at church on Sundays. I see gorgeous bright white kitchens with freshly cut flowers and the perfect cup of coffee on the counter. I see pictures of amazingly organized playrooms with vibrant colors and matching furniture and kids sitting still and working quietly on their coloring project. I see magazine quality bedrooms and living rooms all tidy with the newest accessories and fluffed pillows. The biggest striving for perfect moment that really affected me this year were the super sweet Christmas cards/pictures flooding all of my media feeds.
I want all of these things. I strive for all of these things. And I fall short of all of these things. So where does this leave me? I strive for perfect but I am not perfect. I am no where close. As I shared in my last post I have some crazy struggles. A lot of them have flared up this year and I am feeling less than. My question is “how do I find the happy medium between what is real life and what is social media life?”
As I am writing this I’m looking around at a couch that has blankets and pillows, not coordinating, flung all over it. I see new Christmas toys that don’t yet have a spot so our living area is cluttered. I see half done art projects on my kitchen table. A table that never has fresh flowers on it but sharpie stains. I see my kitchen island has turned into a catch all even though my sweet husband is constantly cleaning it up. I have an insane amount of dishes in my sink even though I just ran the dishwasher. We have a dog that leaves fur where ever she goes and no matter how much we vacuum we can’t seem to get it all up. I have a beautiful little family that I would love to post all over Facebook and Instagram. I would love to have the accolades that come with those perfectly posed pictures. We decided early on to keep our kids off of social media for as long as we can. But it is so hard! It was especially hard this Christmas season. I don’t know why but it stole some of my joy.
So far this blog is all I want but don’t have, I’m not perfect, blah, blah, blah. Stick with me.
My point of this is I am not perfect. I am perfectly imperfect. I’m not meant to be perfect. If I was I wouldn’t need Jesus. I may not have a perfectly clean/ organized house. But I have kids that love to play with their toys. And they love to be with their mommy and daddy so their toys are all over our downstairs. I have a destroyed kitchen table because they love to create and they get carried away with their art and forget about the edges of their paper. My kitchen island is a mess because we are involved in a lot and we get a ton of papers, projects, and schedules from those activities. We have non stop dishes because we have meals to cook and food to eat. We have dog hair everywhere because we adopted a fur baby about a year ago and provided a loving home instead of the abusive one she was in before being rescued. So my kids aren’t on the internet. Well I’ll just need to complement them verbally myself and remember that pictures are still worth taking even if they don’t go on line. God has given me a very full and lively family. I cannot control the chaos but I try my best to manage it. I cannot control my insecurities but I can certainly give them to God.
So I am going to try to let go of “perfect” in 2018. I am going to try to focus on being present instead. I want to look back at this next year and remember the memories we created as a family. I want to accept my imperfections and rely more on God to fill in the gaps. He’s given me my own kid of “perfect” and instead of comparing it to others I’m going to embrace it and cherish it!